Attitudinal Healing

Have you met conflict you could not let go of because you felt persecuted or misunderstood? Everybody does, even children. It's easy for a child to feel more fear than love in the presence of their elders, especially if that elder is careless about the words they choose. Good communication is far more than getting your ideas across. The way we say something, the words we choose can make all the difference. At his Center for Attitudinal healing, Dr. Gerald Jampolsky teaches people how to communicate in a way that minimizes defensiveness and fear.

Jampolsky believes that we experience our state of mind projected outward. If our state of mind is one of well being, love and peace, that is what we will project and therefore experience. If our state of mind is one filled with doubt, fear and concern about illness, we will project this state outward, and it will therefore be our experiential reality.

Love and fear are among the most basic emotions. We cannot feel them both at the same time. We have to choose either one or the other at a given moment. The goal is to choose love over fear and therefore peace over conflict. If we can live in the now, we can let go out of past guilt and blame. We must also let go of the future, with its doubt and fear.

Here is a list of words to eliminate when talking to your children and other adults. It helps to make a positive environment and promote an atmosphere in which love can flourish.

Words to Eliminate

• Impossible
• Can't
• Try
• Limitation
• If Only
• However
• Difficult
• Must
• Should
• Doubt
• Awful
• Horrible
• Terrible
• Demand
• But
• Insist
• Dictate
• Ought To
• Always
• Never

Words are Powerful

Words can place ourselves and others into stifling categories. Without realizing or intending it, we can judge the motives and actions of ourselves and others, measure and evaluate another person's worth, or even condemn people. When we unconsciously choose words that characterize our own negative inner experience, we allow that experience to characterize us. But we also shed light on the situation.

When you recognize your own tendency to use words that cast shadows and project negativity, you can begin to reverse the situation. By deliberately choosing words that tend to foster love, peace and happiness you can foster those things in your home, your workplace and in your mind and heart. You will become someone your children and friends can count on for comfort and support instead of judgment.